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My nine-year-old daughter looked at the beautiful Christmas table my mother-in-law had prepared and asked me a question I had spent fourteen years trying not to answer: “Mom, why does Grandma like the cousins more than us?” Three of Linda’s grandchildren were expected to eat downstairs beside the laundry room again, while Rachel’s children sat upstairs with the adults, eating from china under the chandelier. And at that moment, I realized my silence had taught my children something far worse than anything Linda had ever said out loud: that they were supposed to accept being treated as less important.